I realize that urination is a required part of life and that regardless of how the pee gets out, it has got to get out. But, I truly hate the hassle of having to go to the bathroom, which undoubtedly smells like someone has been in it too long and hasn’t been taught the courtesy flush.  I hate pulling out the useless seat protector that is always too small to cover the seat, takes strategic maneuvering to keep it in place and offers only the illusion of protection. As if germs retreat at the sight of the paper and nastiness can’t infiltrate. So, unless absolutely necessary, I squat. It wouldn’t be so bad except that I hate squatting. Perhaps in my youth (because I am really old) I didn’t mind the don’t-touch-the-seat squat taught by the savvy parent that would cringe at even the thought of their child having to come anywhere near a public restroom.  it was the norm; everybody did it and if you didn’t….well, you were nasty.  I didn’t mind then but now, that dang squat hurts my knees and if I have held the pee too long, trying to just will the urge away, it takes too much time waiting for the last trinkle and my back hurts and my legs are burning by the time I am done.  Peeing can be such a painful experience.

At home is no different. Wait. So I don’t feel a need to squat in my own home so there is a difference but, it just comes down to me hating the ordeal of going to the bathroom.

I began disliking the bathroom with the pregnancy of The Man, who was of course not The Man at the time. He was more like the seed that would become The Malcriado and grow into The Man. I know…you knew that. Anyway, at that time, I only hated getting up in the middle of the night to pee and only because it disturbed my sleep. Once the baby was born, I went back to normal. Normal being no particular thoughts about the bathroom other than it needs to be clean and don’t use public ones or if you do, don’t touch the seat.

Then came The Girl-in-the-Middle and the whole middle-of-the-night river flowing dreams and urge to go just when R.E.M. sleep set in.. Then came the removal of my gall bladder which resulted in an inability to properly process fats and made public-restroom-going the norm. Then, driving it all home, my pregnancy with The Boy where getting up in the middle of the night meant trying to make it to the bathroom with my hip giving out at least once or twice a week and in the day, I might as well have moved into the bathroom since it was either the baby on the bladder or the fat in my food keeping me and the toilet connected.

I just hate going to the bathroom (i know, I appreciate that I have the ability to and I don’t want Depends)

Today, as I drove to work, I spoke to my mother about the fact that I don’t drink a lot of water or anything else for that matter. I usually only have about 1 or 2 drinks a day. Usually a coffee, that sends me straight to the bathroom, or tea in the morning.  Later in the day I may get an ice tea or juice. I don’t drink a lot perhaps, subconsciously, because I don’t want to have to go to the bathroom.

17 Day Diet Rule  – Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day (8 oz each…that is 64 oz)

On day 4, I actually meant that goal.  Do you know what drinking that much water will do for someone that usually doesn’t have more than about 3 drinks a day.  You guessed it.  I spent the better part of the day trying to stay out of the bathroom.  It didn’t work.

Day 4

1 boiled egg20130228-203107.jpg
1 turkey sausage patty (homemade)
3 oz yogurt
1/2 cup strawberry/blueberry mix
1 T. mixed nuts

Kale salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, blueberries, carrots, beets and grilled chicken
1 T. balsamic vinaigrette dressing

4 oz yogurt with 1 cup strawberry/blueberry mix

Kale salad with tomatoes, cucumber, carrots and grilled chicken

Today, I am finally getting it. My portions are smaller and more reflective of how much I normally eat. I am recognizing that the desire for food is not fueled by hungry but by the fear of being hungry because as Samantha noted yesterday, the idea of dieting can make you feel deprived when you actually aren’t (at least not on this diet).

Although, I did not eat dinner at my normal time as dinner just ended up being half of what I brought for lunch. I ate it at 4:10 and was not hungry when I got home from work. So, I am finally getting into the swing of things and may try changing up some of the meals with a bit of creativity over the weekend. We will see.