Recently I was given the pleasure of conversation with a friend of mine. We were talking about our plans for the day when I advised that I had changed my mind about attending a showing of the film Napoleon. The showing was to be a full day’s endeavor given that the film itself was to last 5 1/2 hours and an intermission was to be taken to allow time for dinner. The show was to start at 1:00pm and end at 9:30pm.
It was sure to be a spectacular showing but, I had a very busy week and needed to have some quality with The Boy. I needed it. He needed it. His siblings needed it.
Of course, my friend didn’t get it and the last thing that he needed to say to me was the first thing that he thought to say to me.
“You’re going to turn him into a momma’s boy, spending all that time with him.”
Let’s see, first of all, I am a single mother. If I am not spending all of the time with him, exactly who is and where is he?
Second of all, he is four. Four year olds typically don’t go out making their own way in the world. Their independence is a bit limited.
Third of all, and probably most importantly, in my world of having to work to provide a living for my three children, our quality time is very limited. Here’s how I see it:
There are a total of 168 hours in a week.
The Boy spends: 10.5 hours of everyday sleeping; 10 hours at day care/pre-school; 1 hour being transported to and from school each day; 1 hour bedtime routine – teeth, bath, pajamas, hair (it’s long), book; 1 hour entertaining self while mom prepares dinner each day. Total: 142 hours
This leaves a whopping 26 hours to be shared between The Boy, The Man, The Girl-in-the-Middle, the mom, the chores, the rest, the errands, etc.
I will not always opt out of doing something for me but, when I do, I am sure that it will not result in a momma’s boy.
- Can a Poet Raise a Boy to be a Man? (slwrites.com)
- Letters to a Single Parent: In Search of Alternative Narratives (slwrites.com)