Sometimes it is okay to say something even if you have nothing nice to say. Perhaps what you have experienced that has brought you to your self-imposed nothing-nice-to-say silence is known or has been felt by hundreds of others who are wondering why it is that they are walking this alone.
A concerned friend recently advised that I keep a bit of distance between myself and my blog readers; that I might not want to share, with such candor and intensity, as much as I have shared. As much as I appreciate the concern, I had to explain that the purpose of my blog is to share the ugly of parenting as much as the beauty.
Parenting has been the ride at the amusement park that I was afraid to ride but refused to get off. Or got off only to get back on, again and again. It goes way too fast, hits too many extreme highs, has hair-raising twists and death drops along the way. It makes me sick to my stomach, gives me headaches, causes me to sometimes hold on with a death grip, causes me to scream, hold my breath, cry, laugh, laugh, hold on for dear life, and laugh and laugh and laugh. I never want the ride to end but, sometimes, right in the middle, right as the car is mounting the last ski-high, steep hill, I wonder why the hell I got on in the first place.
Parenting is not always pretty and if I share only the moments where The Boy says something cute, or The Man finally finds his focus in school or The Girl-in-the-Middle realizes her potential when the mark on her math test is a B+, what purpose am I serving? What is the point of a parenting blog that only shows the bright side of parenting when the reality is that the other side can sometimes shine far more brilliantly causing a blindness that is only overcome by pulling out the cute pictures, talking to others who “know what you mean”, or just sitting in silence until the “This too shall pass” has, in fact, passed.
My blog is about sharing my true experience of this single-parenting journey in order that others may find that crazy is actually a norm.
Enjoy it or not, it is reality. It’s a beautiful walk but, it definitely ain’t no walk in the park.