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I need to post a sign on the bathroom door that says,

THIS IS NOT A CONFERENCE ROOM. Privacy expected and requested.

It never fails, just like children always seem to ignore your presence and availability until the exact moment when you are not available, my children always need me right when what I need most is privacy.   The best time to tell me about the new prescription that the doctor gave for acne seems to be when I am sitting on the toilet.  What better time to show me a good grade on a paper than when I am sitting on the toilet?  There must be something about me sitting on the toilet that makes the little guy love me more because he always wants to come in and sit on my lap…awkward AND disgusting.

Don’t let me be in the shower because that will be the most opportune time for conversation.  All it takes is one of them to come in and strike up a conversation under the guise of needing to do their hair or brush their teeth or get the deodorant and the rest are sure to follow.  WE HAVE TWO BATHROOMS.  GO USE THE OTHER ONE!

The other day The Boy was in his room playing when I walked into the bathroom.  It is as if his radar went off because within two seconds he was right there with me.  He, matter-of-factly, came in and sat on the stool by the full length mirror.  Of course, he left the door open behind him.   I looked at him and said, “Excuse me, may I have some privacy?”  He looked at me, smiled as if to say “oh, sorry mom”, and closed the door.